My Condolences, but Your Indulgences are Pensive and Expensive

So this next part is for me, not you, me; but I wouldn’t be terribly slighted or feel my privacy intolerably invaded, if you were to continue. The thing about this job, as with all campus jobs in my undisclosed location, is that you only get paid once a month. Needless to say, after 3+ weeks of work here, I’m just as broke as was when I started. Possibly broker. So to stay motivated (or at least keep from quitting) I have already allocated the funds of as of yet nonexistent check, much in the same way I divide up the unicorn meat. Let us, for the sake of good sport, assume that my income for a particular month is 700 (and let’s not kid ourselves, it’ll be more), but were it to be this highly allegedly fabricated amount, I will spend it thusly (and to my great entertainment):

(Green iPod nano: $200)This glorious piece of engineering is known as the new iPod nano, in, if you felt your eye deceived you, a color known to many as green. This baby plays music, has radio, can record video(though for some reason can’t take pictures), and has awesome games. Basically I’m working at work to buy it, so I don’t have to do work at work, comprende?

(Personal Soundtrack Tshirt: $30+S&H) Now this next item is kind of complicated so I’ve drawn a rather helpful diagram of how it works. Known as the Personal Soundtrack T-shirt, this baby can hook into your iPod(see figure for: iPod Green), and it has a speaker(see figure for: Speaker) through which it can play music(See figure for: Resultant Sound). I know, you’re jealous. And it’s not even because I will own this shirt in a few day. It’s because I’m just awesome enough to pull it off.

(Food: $200) I need to eat. Not eating would be stupid and possibly (in my case, it would not be certain) result in death. Also, food tastes good.

(Savings: $50) My parents have instilled in me some pretty fantastic values. A part from giving birth to the most incredible creature since the incredibly rare (but totally existent) FlyingAwesomeFish.

(Distant/Imminent Travel Expenses: $200) I would like to go to Santa Barbara (Strike that off your list of places I live)in a few weeks and on an intense roadtrip over the summer, so I will allot aforemention amount to the aforementioned excursions. Aforementioned.

So that’s it, and then I’ll be broke again for another month, so this story really doesn’t have a happy ending, except for the shirt.

Countdown: 15 days*

*This is all under the assumption that I don't get fired before that.

I want to party naked on a school bus full of nuns/I want a bumper pool table and a robot pelican
Things I Want, Sum 41(ft. Tenacious D)